When preparing to have tantric sex, it is necessary to put yourself in the right mindset. Whilst a typical tantric session with my partner might last about two hours, only about half of that time period is actually spent on the physical aspect of making love; the rest is all focused on spiritually uniting myself with my partner, and properly aligning our minds with one another. It must be remembered that Tantric Sex is meditation, and, thus, one needs to cultivate and maintain a meditative state of mind, before and during the act, in order to fully reap its benefits. Just as physical foreplay is necessary for the physical portion of sex, so is spiritual foreplay essential for the proper culmination of spiritual sex.
One of the reasons straightforward, physical sex can often be so disappointing, and can actually make you feel disengaged or distant from you partner, is that the subconscious purpose of it is ever eluded. When two lovers come together, they want to become one, so they have sex. But only bringing your bodies together, without bringing your spirits and minds together, will not satisfy. Every part of your beings must be aligned. Only then can you be truly receptive to divine pleasure.
So, before beginning the love-making act, take time to harmonize your minds, and enter into a state of peace and tranquillity with one another. This may sound counter-intuitive to those of you accustomed to normal sex fuelled by passion and excitement: but passion and excitement are difficult to control, require constant stimulation, and quickly wear themselves out. Peace, on the other hand, can you give you complete control, and, if nourished properly, can potentially last forever; so do not under-estimate the importance of being peaceful when making love. It will make you more sensitive, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and increase the sensuality of the experience by modulating and activating your subtlest nerve receptors and plexi.
To achieve this, you may want to meditate together, chant together, or listen to soothing music together; audios that have been specifically designed to promote healthy brainwaves such as binaural beats, or Tibetan Singing bowls; and light candles and incense.
One extremely pleasant exercise involves harmonizing with eachother’s energy centres. This can be practiced either clothed or naked.
Begin by standing opposite one another, with your bodies aligned and pressing against one another, including your foreheads. Breathe in deeply and gently together, inhaling together, and exhaling together, so that your respiratory cycles are in concert with one another. Then, press your lips together; but, instead of kissing, open your mouth, and breathe in and out of eachother’s mouths, breathing in eachother’s breath when you breathe in, and also receiving your partner’s breath when you breathe out. This ‘kissing with energy’ as I like to call it, is a very good way to engender a tranquil frame of mind, and develop a deeper bond with your partner.
Next, begin by passing energy into eachother’s chakras. If you are not familiar with the physical placement of the chakras, look them up in diagrams: they are very easy to learn. Keeping your breathing in tune with one another, focus your energy on your lowest chakra, and visualize that, with each breath, you chakras are blossoming and expanding, and waves of energy are passing between you, like heavenly cords, binding you together. Spend as much time on each chakra as you wish. Progressively move up the chakras, until you reach the crown chakra (though, make sure you communicate with your partner, so that you’re both working on the same chakras at the same time!)
Once you reach the crown chakra, draw the (dragon) energy out of your heads, and visualize these two streams merging together in a heavenly sphere above your heads. You may even wish to visualize two miniature versions of yourselves making love within this sphere, or even two tantric deities of your choice – such imaginative flourishes are always up to you!
That exercise should be enough to get you started, and can take as long you wish. Just don’t rush! All time with your partner should be sacred and timeless, so while engaged in Tantra, truly permit yourself to think of nothing else; or better yet – don’t think at all!
I hope you enjoy practicing this exercise with your partner.
All my love.