After reading about the Dakinis, I decided to learn Vajrayogini’s mantra today. After offering prayers to the three jewels, as well as my usual homages, I began to chant the mantra, using the throat singing techniques I began to unlock yesterday. Beautiful, full-throated sound. I did try and visualize Vajrayogini in form during the beginning; but, the throat singing dominates your entire being, and it’s hard to do anything consciously – you just have to sort of submit to it. Again, that wonderful feeling of wide-open spaciousness inside. It’s funny to think singing constantly, and leaving little room for breathing, could fill you with so much energy and air, but it really does!
After about fifteen minutes of chanting intentionally, I slipped into trance, and things began to proceed much more naturally on their own. Went through a variety of sung and spoken songs. One moment was quite casual – it just sounded like the shaman within me was speaking, so that was an interesting new development. Still not sure of the language though.
I began to dance in final third of the meditation. I think all of yoga, and interrelated practices, as well as the positions meditation deities are depicted in, all originally stem from what the shaman does spontaneously in trance dance. Personally, I much prefer the spontaneous version to the artificially codified one! Makes me look at a lot of practice very differently now, and explains why I’ve always hated doing things by rote – wanting to do something new every time.
It really does push you at times. You do feel like the song could kill you, and that’s part of the ecstasy of it. At one point, I moved around on my hands and knees, like I was imitating an animal. I’m not sure what, but most likely a bear – maybe even a polar bear! – I think, pawing the ground, and wiggling in time to the undulations of the song.
Really loving becoming a shaman. But I must get a shaman’s drum – that would open me up to whole new heights.
I was quite surprised when I came out of the trance to see how peaceful and gentle I looked, given the ferocious, and often otherworldly noises I was emitting. Power songs of love and healing, good for all the world.