Was late meditating today. Didn’t start until around three O’clock. Found it very tough at first. A huge weight of unhappiness made me feel very uncomfortable, and I was disturbed a few times by my new Buddhist posters falling down (though I do adore my new shrine). This unhappiness definitely felt like more knots on the cusp of being undone.
I started speaking in Chinese for a bit, and then did some throat singing. This had a major healing effect on me, and really helped me shift a lot of the energetic knots that my illness and sadness had tied up. Plenty of colours and inner worlds. The sounds were lovely, and I produced a lot of very high overtones. I feel like I’m beginning to get better understanding of the psychological use of the larynx in throat singing. It really is singing straight from the voice box, and sonic manipulation thereof. But, the grit in my throat still held me back, and eventually forced me to stop. Still, I feel much happier and healthier for having done it. I wish I was in peak health so that I could just carry on doing it.
A lot more psychic and energetic awareness after being outside for an hour or two today. Could both see and feel the flow of energy quite effortlessly. Was a little delirious, a little happy. Still have a lot of pain and sorrow to express. I feel like there will be a lot more revelations coming out of me soon. But it’s such a treat to feel connected to The Way and the gods again, and to really take delight in spirituality and spiritual practice.