Poem: Vows to Imaginary Wife


Well, we finally did it

We got married

But now that we’re hitched

I just want to clarify

A few things

That may have been


I did not marry you

To make my life easier

You are not an appliance

Or 40-Watt Toaster

I can burn bread without your help

And I have more respect for you than that

No, I am not after

Security or comfort

Only the security of knowing

You will always be by my side

Bringing me Hell, Fire,

And Authentic Tenderness

That I couldn’t buy at any price

May you always be

The Truth I do not know

The Bad news I need to hear

The ill-applied mascara

On the fluttering lashes of Samsara

All tied up

With ribbons and bow

May you be my obstacle

When everything is running smoothly

And the ambassador of my insecurity

When I can’t look people in the eye

Our sex-life will be as non-existent

As it is never-ending

Never able to keep our hands off eachother

As we couch-surf on different continents

You are my hot water bottle

Filled with lava

And the coffin I always

Like to climb inside of

That’s all I request of you

My imaginary wife

So get to work – get busy

I’m hungry for strife


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