Bum Appreciation Day

People pose during a performance at the Ernst Happel soccer stadium in Vienna

It just occurred that toilet paper, one of our most used necessities, is all just to feed our bums, and keep them nice and clean and happy. How special our bums should feel at having such attention and commodities showered upon them! Isn’t it great having a bum? Let’s celebrate having bums. PARTY!

By extension, whilst I realize I’m often aware of my own bum and how delightful it is, I do not feel I spend enough time acknowledging other people’s bums, and telling them how delightful they are. Perhaps we should have a Bum Appreciation Day, and go around telling everyone how nice their tuchises are. Everyone would be so happy. It would be such a great way to make everyone feel loved and included. Isn’t it nice to share?

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