I’ve Got a Little List – Reuben’s Version


As someday it may happen that a victim must be found –

I’ve got a little list x2

Of society offenders who might well be underground –

and none of them be missed! X2

There’s the journalistic jingoists who write The Daily Mail

All children who use slang terms like ‘LOL’ and ‘EPIC FAIL’

Bestial politicians who like to shag pig heads

Which explains why there’s always bacon in David Cameron’s bed

And all female prime ministers who’d better off desist –

Theresa May is on the list!

I’m sure she’d not be missed!


There’s the Radio One disc Jockeys and the others of their race,

And the piano accompanist – Helen’s on the list!

All people who have their smart phones pressed like THIS against their face –

They’d none of them be missed x2

And the idiot who praises with enthusiastic glee

The soap operas and talent shows beamed into their TVs

There’s X-Factor and Emmerdale, and anything with Simon Cowell

Whose face would look much improved impaled on a trowel

And any number of Rupert Murdoch’s phone-tapping journalists!

They’d none of them be missed x2


There’s that EU Brexit nonsense which just now is rather rife

And Jeremy Clarkson’s publicist – I’ve got him on the list!

Boris Johnson, Donald Trump, and other clowns of political life –

They’d none of them be missed x2

And unapologetic statesmen like that devil Tony Blair

Searching for Weapons of mass destruction that we knew were never there

Claiming we had to liberate their country from turmoil

When all he really wanted was more reserves of oil

But it really doesn’t matter which politician goes on the list

For they’d none of them be missed

They’d none of them be missed!


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