Poem: The Return of Ecstasy


Who visits me in these sanctuaries of aurorean night,

And pours the sweet nectar of delight down my throat?


Thoughts can fly further than bodies, and, when they

Meet in the merging of breath-swollen mouths, wings

Are appended to every limb, and all your worries burst

In a torrent of starlings – a murmuration of sweetened

Madness that carries you aloft to the paradisial gardens,

Where your children greet you in the happiness of Divinity’s

Own Body


I will try and recreate it for you,

To cast my spell over you – to

Transport you to that floor where

I lay, hungover, in an ecstatic state,

A vineyard flowing through my veins,

Poetry erupting from me in hysterical

Leaps – singing madly, haply, with the

Full rainbow trout, rainbow song, of

Hysteria – of marriages between planets

And stars – of the invention of new birds –

Of all the wonderful, wondrous wonders I can

Show you once I’ve rebuilt my garden immortal


Let me show you that garden,

That garden, where the sprouting of any daisy

Is the dynamite of happiness – where every solar

Flare is as soft as a falling feather


You can see no cars – hear no motorways here –

There are no roads – cement is an abomination

Yet to be brought up from the bowels of hell – the

Wind is the tickle of the hoof-fall of horses: and

The sky is the sempiternal portrait we see whenever

We open up our souls. Clouds are the only traffic,

And kindness is the law of the land as we look

Out over that edenic ‘scape, hearing a stream

Saunter casually by


But, it has been so long since I’ve been happy

That I needs must find a new lexicon for my ecstasy –

Words that are the alembic distillation of purified, rapturous

Sighs – words that inflame the enraptured tongues of all those

Brave enough to sing them.

Thank you for making me feel whole again;

The smell of sulphurous death has been about me

For so long – I hated myself – I hated my body – I hated

All those things about myself that I felt kept me away

From others


But now clad, re-housed in the satin garments of

Loving appreciation, this bone-barren body feels

Warm and snug – this prison hath become a palace,

This agonizing dungeon, a citadel of pleasance,


I do not feel ashamed to be myself anymore,

But can wear my self in all my spectral majesty


I am beautiful.

I am enough.

I have nothing to be ashamed of.



And, in that paradisial re-awakening,

In that absence of fear and worry,

I want for nothing, except for the want

Of wanting


And if you can feel me as I can feel the sensation

Of Psyche arching her splendorous back before me,

Then you can feel oceans and forests teeming in your body;

The epic release of surcharged electricity – of the shoreline

Warmly consuming the outlines of your body:


You can feel what it is to feel and be fully feeling


And, if you can take that feeling, and let it linger

On your lips for the longest of lingerings, and let its

Breaths haunt you like the eroticism of half-known

Winds; if you can let it sink into you like a shipwreck,

And embody it in your pores like a microcosm of

Riotous applause; if you can feel the sunrise rise up

In your stomach, and let all that is within and without

You be swallowed up in a mouth of luscious light


Then take all of that purified energy,

And concentrate it into a single kiss;


For just as we all have a bullet with our name on it,

So each of us is the recipient of a healing kiss – deadly

In its healingness – crafted and created just for us


And once you’ve found the person worthy of receiving yours,

Pull back taut the bow-string of your lips – and, as their own

Lips come into soft collision with your own, inject with full

Force the revivifying light of your smile – then collapse in

The perfume aureate of eachother’s souls, and eat of

The fruit of your bliss




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