I am performing a gig in a rather seedy joint, though it is no more spectacular than your standard village hall. In fact, I think it may well be the village hall in Lydbrook. I perform a few songs there on guitar, which seem to be well-received, though I am not entirely sure what I am playing. I think one of the songs is meant to be from Miss Saigon, though it sounds nothing like it, quite groovy and bluesy. I think I have a backing band, but I am not sure. The gig is very late, possibly sometime around two or three in the morning, but definitely after midnight.
After the gig, I go out into the corridor, and begin speaking with one of the other girls who works there, who is also a Virgo. We are both working for some lowlife gangster, though we do not see him, but both refer to him by name. I then speak to a new girl, who is Madchen Amick from Twin peaks. She is wearing the same sort of costume as she does in Norma’s Diner, and appears to be about twenty one. We talk, and I guess – correctly – that she is also a Virgo!
It seems the gangster has a system of regularly sleeping with all the girls who work for him. Madchen and I both get on our bicycles, and I go for a ride with her in the woods, to take her to the rendezvous point where we will meet the gangster. The area we are cycling through is the road and bridge section near Llanellen, with also elements of the cycle path in Llanfoist. I feel quite professional about the job I am doing, and am pleased to be getting an income; but, it is only as I dwell more deeply on what I am involved in, that I begin to feel horror and revulsion for what is essentially slavery and prostitution. I begin to empathise with Madchen, and wonder how she feels about her systematic role in this. Is the sex tantamount to rape? Does she enjoy it? Is she indifferent to it? Is it something she just blocks off in the back of her mind for the sake of survival? I do not know any of these things, and perhaps, neither does Madchen.
Flophouses, dirty rooms, shady characters, and drug dealers. I wonder what I am doing around such people, and again feel revulsion. Walking around lots of dull, twisting estates. They just seem to go on and on without any purpose. I speak to a friend. Though there has been much difficulty lately, she tells me that the bonus has been an explosion in the number of rainbows. She points one out, and it is possibly one of the clearest and most distinct rainbows I have ever seen, almost like an actual bow of pure spectral color.
A gangster is a criminal – an immoral person who is willing to exploit, injure, and kill others in order to benefit himself through acquisition of money and sense-gratification. That I am working for such a person suggests the danger of allowing yourself to become associated with corrupt people, in order to satisfy your own needs and fears. Just because I am not actively participating in any of the more gory aspects of the racket, I am still enabling it through my participation and professionalized ignorance. So, even benign associations can be quite macabre if we allow them to circumvent our moral compass.
On one level, the gangster represent my shadow self, as well as my lower, demoniac self. It is a warning to be aware of the existence of such things, without allowing them to rule me, and compromise the integrity of my heart and mind. This is especially relevant, as being ill with fever, feeling irritable, tired, and restless, it has been difficult for me to maintain my usual tranquillity and selflessness. Selfishness has been lurking insidiously, even if, like my fever or the gangster, I cannot literally see it. The location of the village hall as a sort of speakeasy is another example of the malevolent hiding itself within the benign – false yin hiding in false yang.
That the dream takes place at night –as many have done recently – once again shows that the confusion of the benighted consciousness is still in power – though dawn is on the way, and, with it, clarity will come. This promise is further abetted by the rainbow seen later in the dream – and, indeed, I did see a beautiful rainbow this morning.
The rainbow, as in the Wizard of Oz, is an entrance to the otherworld – like the rainbow bridge to Valhalla in Nordic Mythology. It is a possibility to ascend up the color spectrum to a whole new mode of being and experiencing. Like the sun, it also indicates the reprieve and liberation after a period of difficulty. To the Australian Aborigines, the Rainbow Serpent was the tapestry of infinity itself. It also indicates death and transformation. All of these meanings are abundantly appropriate to my life at the moment, and in moments to come. It is an encouraging promise – the otherworldly becoming much more real.
I perform three songs, but I’m not sure what I’m doing – I do not feel as in control of myself as usual, and the fruits I bear are surprising and unexpected – they may be well received, even I do not fully understand them, or cannot yet fully control them – my astral life, too, has been harder to control since I’ve been ill.
Working with two Virgo women. I certainly have met a lot of Virgo women recently, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there is more to come. That they are the same star sign as me means they are representatives of my feminine aspect. Though I am working with them, the fact that I am also enabling them to be prostituted shows that I am not showing my femininity the greatest respect, or using it to the highest benefit. I must be more respectful of it, and put it to a higher use.
The cycling and the wandering – movement on the journey of life. The twisty streets are a labyrinth. Labyrinths are symbols of the maze like nature of life – sometimes encountering monsters and obstacles; dead ends; and prizes. We are trapped in ignorance, because, being within the maze, we do not know its construct. Feeling lost and trapped and in need of guidance. Weighed down by the ephemeral boredom of life – trapped within mundane, squalid circumstances.
The flophouses and drug-dealers once again show that I am coming into contact with the dirty, and delusional aspect of my mind. They must be accepted, cleaned, and returned to a state of wholeness.