Diary of a Mystic: Vajra Lands


First thoroughly enjoyable and integrative meditation since I first came down with this illness. Given all the anger, bitterness, and ill-will I’ve been experiencing as a side effect over these last few days, I decided to use Vajrayogini’s mantra to help me eat up and transform these unpleasant emotions. And it certainly worked, as I feel much more gentle and mentally pliable now than the misanthrope I’ve been masquerading as for these last few days.

The energy that envelops everything was no longer kept at a distance from me that horrifying fever fire, but could actually fully enter into my being. It was truly blissful and pleasurable, as though my being was gently being suffused with yogurt, milk, ambrosia, or some other sweet elixir of the Gods.

The initial imagery was of some jungles, and a face that looked rather Mongolian. But, to my knowledge, I don’t think Mongolia is a jungle terrain, so it was more likely a Chinese kingdom I was seeing, or maybe even something from Central or South America.

Then the scene takes an almost anime turn, two beautiful lovers, in a watery, nebulous, rainbow space. It is quite indistinct, but I feel very turned on and sensual, a delicious sense of hyper-sexual unity that continues throughout the meditation.

There is one scene that almost feel like a living painting. We are sailing down this psychedelic, jungle river. All these beautiful and mysterious creatures lurk elegantly along the banks. Roaming through clouds and beautiful vajra lands.

Diary of a Mystic: Rhino


A lot of incredibly powerful wrathful energy came through me yesterday evening. It was a very unusual experience, like being a child, I felt incredibly happy and ecstatic, yet also very quick to wrath, and felt anger about a lot of things. It began when I was preparing for my massage, and then came through as a black Dakini-like figure during the massage – my face was contorting, and I was struggling quite a lot not to go into trance right there in the middle of the session! Had it been a friend accustomed to such things, I might have allowed it; but I had a responsibility to he client, and could not go full shaman in that moment. One day, I will do, when I have clients coming to me precisely for that reason.

I decided to subdue it by meditating after my bath, and doing a Vajrayogini meditation. Though my parents had gone to bed, I still felt impelled to chant spontaneously in that mysterious Asiatic language. It was a lovely, serene meditation, and I felt soothed very quickly, like entering into deep space, occasionally suffused by a beautiful dark blue light.

At one point, I saw a rhino before me, and I quickly became the rhino. I could feel the power of its enormous horn protruding from my third eye. I was strong, stolid, stable, serene and silent. A heavy piece of ponderous peace. Here is a list of attributes associated with the rhino as a spirit animal:

  • Agility
  • Solitary
  • Wisdom
  • Paradox
  • Freedom
  • Stability
  • Gratitude
  • Longevity
  • Judgment
  • Grounding
  • Peace of Mind
  • Self-Assurance
  • Unconventional
  • Sensory Perception


I would say all of these are extremely relevant to my current experience. More and more I am relishing my solitude and freedom from all constraints. The need for stability as I acquire ever greater and more volatile sources of energy. Gratitude for everything, especially the opportunity to love and serve all beings. Judgement, so that I have the perspicacity to still do the right thing, and not allow the impulsiveness of these new energy flows to get the better of me. And I feel thoroughly unconventional in just about everything I do at the moment, and, indeed, am likely to get more so!

The rhino bathes in the warmth of mud. I, too, must sink deeper into the earth as I re-establish my shamanic roots, taking the underworld as my bathing ground, so I can reach ever greater heights.

Feeling other people’s emotions more and more. Bodhicitta really is like being in love with every single thing.



Diary of a Mystic: The Valley Spirit

velley spirit

Following on from the previous meditation, I used Green Tara’s mantra, and focused on the divine feminine. I found it very healing and stabilizing, and an excellent antidote to the restlessness and irritability I have experienced whilst being ill.

I spent a lot of the meditation flying through space. I at once encountered an enormous totem pole, which, no matter how perseveringly I followed it, seemed to have no end. The faces on the totem were variously gnashing their teeth and sticking out their tongues. One may have tried to eat me momentarily, meaningless as that is.

Occasionally, whilst flying through the pneumas of space, a face would form in the shape of a Buddha, usually very large and expansive. I roamed through lots of peaceful cloud-woven realms. One of the mist-formed being had a bit more of wrathful appearance than the others, though here was certainly nothing to be feared. These are lands of tranquillity, full of peace and beauty. There is never any danger here.

Many of the beautiful landscapes through which I travelled were filled with gorgeous mountains and valleys. Some were lush with greenery, vegetation, plants, grass, moss and lichen; whilst others were more grand canyon like, featuring many chasms, low-rolling rivers, mesas and buttes – some were dense with jagged mountain peaks, sharply chewing up the sky, more like the Himalayas or certain parts of China. Some of these felt like Earthy landscapes, whilst many definitely were not. In general, I did not see many beings, human, otherworldly, or animal on this trip – just mists and vapors.

Astral Travel: Transformation and The Divine Feminine


Waking up still feeling feverish, I decided I would spend several hours chanting Medicine Buddha’s mantra to stimulate my healing powers within. At the beginning of the meditation I just decided to passively chant the mantra, allowing visions to naturally arise as they pleased. Many of them were of Shiva and Shakti; of wandering across vast desert planes on foreign planets. Sitting in a mountain cave, covered by a waterfall, looking across an infinitely vast chasm, filled with clouds, space, and moisture. Once again, there was imagery relating to the Native Americans.

I focused on my Shakti, on my Divine Feminine, and tuned into the female body that exists within my male body, becoming aware of my breasts, my womb, my vagina, and the different sensation in terms of energetic vibrations. I focused Shiva-lingam energy onto the pearl of my clitoris, and felt waves of high-vibrating pleasure ascending up through my body. It’s no wonder women enjoy sex more than men – the pleasure is much more intense, yet also much more grounded and consistent. It does not peak quickly then wane, as with men, but endures evenly, capable of being prolonged inexhaustibly for those who know the techniques.

Being earthly, women are naturally more grounded than men. Their tranquillity and serenity is far deeper than could ever be fathomed. This is why men have subjugated women for so long – because they are afraid and jealous of their closer connection to the earth, and the inexhaustible supply of magic and energy that gives them access to – pure Shakti energy. Thus, women have been demeaned and separated from the Earth as much as possible. This is also why the current powers that be strive to artificialize women as much as possible, exploiting their insecurities, and brainwashing them into being obsessed with appearances, make-up, security, and a whole of host of frivolous poisons that detract and separate them from the all-powerful divine mother whom they embody. To all women who read this, may you be liberated from the shackles of such attachments, and return joyously to nature, as the divine sorceresses you are.

Once we get to the astral projection portion of my meditation, the use of words becomes far more unsatisfactory. For those who’ve never performed astral projection before, it creates a divided, yet unified sense of experience. Though you’re still conscious of your body sat immobile as you meditate, you will also feel the cosmic sensations of your etheric body as you project it through different dimensions. There is a mind-split involved here, which may feel uncomfortable at first. But, the more you become accustomed to maintaining trance, and the practice of using separate senses simultaneously – in this instance, internal chanting and visualization – then the more that split feels natural and unified. You even become aware, during your waking life, that such splits are occurring all the time, and that your various thought bodies are often off wandering in other places and dimensions, whilst your physical body is engrossed in its own activities.

The longer you maintain awareness and control over your etheric body, the more solid and crystallized your etheric body feels. As with anything, the experience becomes much more stable and expansive the more you practice it. In fact, making your etheric body dwell in a single spot, as though meditating, and imagining it crystallizing, as though into a golden statue, is one of the best ways of further reifying it.

I visited an amazing crystal castle in space, which had a very robust healing energy to it, especially if one stood in the central room, below the elevated spire. The crystal was all a sort of light-bluey quartz color. It made me think about King Ludwig II of Bavaria, and made me wonder whether it was memory of such places that impelled him to build his incredible, fairy-tale castles.

One of the most liberating and exciting thing about the etheric body, is that it can take on any form you direct it to. The initial form I usually take on is that of a Buddha, bodhisattva, or god with whom I have a strong relationship. The Buddha body is usually an ideal one, because it is very easy to drive, and one can use the energetic powers of his top-knot and third eye to illuminate all sorts of fascinating realms and worlds. But, all forms are capable of taking on any kind of amazing transformations at the drop of a thought.

One of the interesting experiences for me this time round is that, not only can we take on the forms of animals and beings, but also of vehicles, planets, buildings, boats, and houses – or just be formless and empty, like the vapours of space. It is very fun to experiment with these different bodies, the alchemical actions that occur as a result, as well as the knowledge one acquires through experimenting with different incarnations.

Most exciting of all is realizing that you can transform the etheric body to be many things at once, manifesting yourself as a whole plethora of beings and things. I even experienced creating a hole world, and manifesting individually – yet multifariously – as every being and thing on it. I imagined separating myself into an infinite multitude of bodhisattvas, who I could spread in all directions, to all possible worlds, to liberate as many living being as possible.

Of course, at this level, I realized that all beings are essentially ephemeral creations thought momentarily into existence by the universal mind, and that, as The Diamond Sutra says, there are really no beings to save. Though, of course, until all beings realize that, I still have a lot of work to do!

Learning to be formless and all-embracing is definitely a skill I would recommend all beings to master

Meditation Diary: Lord Shiva’s Mantra


As I have been trying to perfect the full-lotus seated meditation position, I thought that it would only be proper to invoke Lord Shiva’s assistance, as he is the Lord of Yoga and Tantra. Praying for liberation from the gateways of the senses, I renounced my body, my life, my being, and offered it up as a sacrifice to The Way.

As soon as I called Lord Shiva, I saw an enormous eye flicker inside. So, instead of chanting the Tao Te Ching, which is my normal morning meditation, I decided to solely chant Shiva’s mantra – OM NAMAH SHIVAYA – which is something I have never done in meditation before.

An extremely liberating and tranquil meditation, I had many visions of Lord Shiva, entwined in courtship with a divine consort, the latter’s black hair blazing with fire. I reflected on the necessity for union between The Divine Masculine and The Divine Feminine, and prayed for this sacred balance to be actualized supremely within all beings.

I saw floating spaceports, as well as the cows of light extolled in The Vedas. I saw a tranquil blue planet completely submerged by vast oceans of liquid peace, and Shiva floating serenely over its surface, as well as moments of spiritual eroticism that I shall not narrate here.

When I came out of the trance, I felt lighter, and observed that my face appeared to be much younger and gentler. When I saw my mother, I observed the same youthfulness in her face, and felt blissfully detached, and better able to fully immerse myself in the bliss of reality as a result.

I look forward to deepening my relationship with this mantra, and hope that many of you reading this will also be inspired to chant it as a result.




Adventure Time and Metaphysics

The older I’ve gotten, and the further I’ve waded into the strange, miasmic pool of adulthood, the less ‘adult’ my interests have become, and the more and more I find myself attracted to cartoons.

When I watch adult dramas or movies, I feel underwhelmed and bored to misery: the realities they depict are so narrow and limited that I often feel like I am being subjected to the cinematic equivalent of a tax return, or the dramatization of a particularly dreary Post Office queue. But when I watch cartoons, I feel excited, awe-inspired, humbled, and often receive immense insights from them that a more ‘adult’ vehicle would do their best to quash.

Take the above link to an episode of Adventure Time. Not only is it a delightful foray into the humorous, the zany, and the wild, but it also incandescently illustrates a truth which almost all ‘mature’ media do their best to downplay:


But, because the world is much slower and less obviously elastic than that of cartoons, people forget this point: that they are authors of all their troubles, and the composer of all their bliss.

This is why it is crucial to populate the mind with as much good as possible. Fill it with angels, Buddhas, deities, flowers, charm, and grace. If you’re going to fill it with demons or monsters, do so only for the satisfaction of developing the strength to slay them. Use the mind as the playground in which you can test out all possible truths. That’s what god does with his mind. You can do the same in yours too.

This is what Krishna devotees say about their famous Creator, The Lord of Yoga; that all of reality, and that which is manifested, is a product of his cosmic play, his jungle-gym spanning the webs and plexi of many dimensions.


Don’t you remember being a child, out in the playground during breaks at school, and how you and your compadres would spend this wonderful allotment of space building realities with one another, harvesting your imagination, and generating whole multi-levelled storylines on the spot?


Not only is it fun, but it actively makes the world a better place!

The reason we have been incarnated on this planet is to acquire discipline and knowledge. But once we have learned all that we need to learn, and learned to control our minds thoroughly, then we will be ready to ascend beyond this planet to higher dimensions where all is mind, all is thought.

There, all our responsibilities and troubles on Earth will seem insignificant compared to our new roles as builders of galaxies, and frontiersmen of infinity, as knights of knowledge, and agents of enlightenment.

But only through acquiring wisdom, self-control and maturity now, will we be prepared for these amazing, dimension-shaping responsibilities later on.

How can we do that?

Use your imagination! Be mature – watch cartoons!

Let them be the expanders of the mind that you will one day use to create the world anew, as you are even doing right this moment!

But when things get too intense, just remember that it is all a product of your imagination. Like, Jake and Finn, you possess your own off-switch. You can always calibrate your own creations. Just don’t turn off the switch completely until you’re to enter the Ein Soph of the Bornless Beyond and embrace The Beautiful Abyss.

Visualization Exercise: The Ocean of Light

This is a very healing and beneficial meditation exercise I like to call ‘The Ocean of Light’. First, begin by seating yourself in a comfortable position, (preferably lotus, or half-lotus, though laying flat on your back is also permissible), keep your spine straight but relaxed, and take some time to enjoy some deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, before settling down your breathing to a much gentler and unconscious rate.

Before closing your eyes, you may find it helps to light a candle and place it in front of you so that it is level with your line of sight. Pick a point on the candle, either the sharp tip at its apex, or the juncture at its base where it conjoins with the wick, and fix your attention to it, unwaveringly. Stare at it for as long as you need to in order to get this image of light as a primal substance firmly affixed in your mind.

As you stare undivertedly at the candle flame, you will find that hidden textures emerge from the light that you had never previously known where there. Explore these complexities and subtleties of the flame, and use it to enhance the depth of your vision. You can later begin to apply this new-found acuity to your own mind once you begin to meditate. You may also find that others colours that you would not expect begin to emerge from the light. Shadows and forms may lurch around the candle and the candle flame, without your conscious input. If you stare long enough, you may even find that these shadows and forms begin to take on definite characters and faces. If this occurs, do not be disturbed or excited. Just let them do what they will let, and hold fast to your concentration.

Once you feel your relaxation and concentration have become refined enough, close your eyes, and imagine that you are surrounded by a luminous ocean of light. This light is very different from the one you have just been looking at, as it is requires no fire or other fuel source to generate itself; rather, it is pure photonic energy, liquid light, stretching as far as you can see around you. It is a bright, supernal light, even brighter than the sun; but it does not blind you, for it is a loving, healing light, gentle, divine, and lambent.

Settling gently into this ocean of liquid light, imagining this light rising around you, consuming you, and holding you, starting first at your feet and legs, before moving up your torso and head, until it envelopes and contains you completely. Feel the sensation of this light against your skin, gentle, warming, and seeming to wash away any negativity or discomfort you might be holding onto. It should be a delicate, sensuous process. Enjoy it, and let it take its time.

Next, imagine the pores on your skin widening, to let the light inside your body. Let this light drift through all of your arteries and veins, along your nerves, through your muscle tissue, your bones, your marrow, and into the centre of your internal organs: your heart, your kidneys, your lungs, your stomach, your spleen, your pancreas, your bladder, gall bladder and intestines. To get to your brain, imagine the light penetrating your eyes, your mouth, your nose, and your ears, and passing along these channels to reach your cerebellum and cerebral cortex. The more detail in which you are able to imagine both your body and the light, the more therapeutic the meditation will be, so you may find it beneficial to look at, and memorize, anatomical drawings of the body before beginning. If there is any particular part of your body which is suffering or diseased, you may want to spend a bit longer bringing waves upon wave of liquid light to this particular body part or organ until you begin to feel its discomfort alleviating. Remember: Hypnotists have been able to use their abilities to induce anaesthesia in their subjects. As meditation is just a different branch of self-hypnosis, you will also be able to induce a sense of pleasurable painlessness in yourself if you are able to concentrate intensely enough. The mind is a better healer than any doctor or drug, so it is beneficial to devote regular effort to refining this practice.

You may spend as long a time in The Ocean of Light as you wish. It is your Ocean, and you can go back to it whenever you want to. All you have to do is relax and close your eyes. You may even want to explore this ocean, and see what lies hidden in its waves and watery depths. Magical fish, mermaids, divine beings, mysterious coral caves – what you may find is limitless. And, as the success of this of this stage largely depends upon your imagination, I will leave what you do with it up to you.

When you are ready to finish the meditation, savour the light for a few more moments, and make some affirmations to yourself about how you would like to feel, what kind of person you want to be, and what you would like to achieve. Then, after counting slowly up to ten from zero, open your eyes, have a good stretch, and resume living your life, happier, calmer, and healthier than before.