Diary of a Mystic: Spirit Animals and Forgiveness

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Interesting meditation before bed last night. The visualizations and interior depth of my meditations are beginning to return thankfully and joyously. This bug has been stuck on my chest at the moment, so I had to direct a lot of energy towards my heart chakra to help it heal, and to also, hopefully, reawaken the compassion and warmth that was temporarily occluded by my selfish sickness.

I saw quite a lot of magical spirit animals in this meditation: a leopard – a bear – an ant – and a few others I cannot immediately recall. An ant is symbol of the power of co-operating with others. Though tiny, army ants, through working together, are a fearsome force in the jungle. When tiny things assemble together, they are capable of achieving greatness. The importance of working together with others. Even on a singular basis, ants are incredibly strong, capable of lifting things that far exceed their size. As a colony, they function through psychic integration and intuition. And they are also supremely selfless, seeing themselves as a collective whole, and not as an assemblage egos each with their own unique desires to gratify.

The bear is almost the opposite of this. A solitary cave dweller, he prefers isolation, entering into the depths of darkness to perceive the essence of The Way. He is quite territorial, but also shy. To the Native Americans, the bear was emblematic of Virgo. So, I must reconcile and harmonize these two seemingly conflicting sides of my nature – the solitary and the social. That which desires to withdraw and work alone and within – and that which desires to unite with others, and work for the greater good. Both of them are ultimately seeking to attain the same thing – just through different methods and modalities.

According to my book of symbols, the Leopard was associated with the great destroyer Seth in the Egyptian pantheon. Priests would wear leopard pelts to symbolize their ascendency over the forces of destruction. The leopard, due to its cunning, strength, and blood-lust was also a symbol of the warrior castes, but also one of transformation – its coat changes with the seasons, and the loss of its spots indicates purity – losing the spots of sin.

A website on spirit animals had this to say of the leopard:

He is reminding you that there is always a period of rebirth after a period of suffering and death on some level. Leopard is the healer of deep wounds and will bring old issues to resolution through the reclaiming of power that was lost during the time of the wounding. He is reminding you that you have many resources, skills, capabilities, inner resources and patterns available to you that will allow you to do a broad range of tasks at will. These resources can be physical, mental, psychic, emotional and spiritual.

Alternatively the Leopard is letting you know that you need to accept your own spots and use them as your own strengths. Stop hiding because of your own perceived weaknesses. You have the power and the strength to accomplish everything you dream of. You simply have to believe, have faith and find the right path. Persistence is the keyword.

 

I think this is all incredibly relevant. I have been going through many deaths recently, and I’m currently on the upswing, and in gradual recovery mode. I feel very wounded at the moment from mistakes and experiences I’ve had recently, so to be assured of a resurgence of new power and strength and resolution is pleasing to the soul. The past week really did knock a lot of my confidence and faith out of me, so it will be beautiful to be realigned with an awareness of my limitless potential, instead of constantly being bound and stymied by self-limiting insecurities and worries.

I do also need to be more accepting of my own weakness, and not over-highlight them at the exclusion of the whole, but rather integrate thoroughly with them. All weaknesses can be converted into strength if you know the secret of transmutation. I think, especially, I have been castigating myself for my extreme changeability, seeing this aspect of my protean nature in an entirely negative light, when actually, it is an important part of my character, and abundant in virtue. Changeability is neither good nor bad in and of itself, for such transformations are an essential part of how the universe evolves. It is just about how you direct it (or how it directs you).

I had a beautiful moment of consolation earlier too. I prayed for forgiveness from a lover for all the pain that I’ve put her through. A voice reminded me that she’s already forgiven me. All these lifetimes, and unpleasant blips are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Mercy and forgiveness are the basic modalities of the universe. She has never truly hated me, and will always love me. What forgiveness need there be?

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Visions of Sisyphus

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After note: Also had an image of a man pushing a boulder up the side of a very pointed Himalayan mountain. However, once he reached the pinnacle, the boulder fell down the other side, and he flew up into space. This throws some interesting light on the legend of Sisyphus as a teaching about reincarnation. We incarnate into lives to learn, to become stronger, kinder, and increase our spiritual power and integrity. However, once we reach our climax, and we achieve much, we crumble and die, and are cast into another body, and thus, have to start the cycle all over again, right from the very bottom. It is enough to master the teachings of the Tao & and Dharma in one life time – but to have to return to it again and again, right from the bottom – what an endeavour!

This is the why the understanding of past lives is so useful in eastern countries. Because their reality is widely recognized, beings who are reincarnations or emanations of great teachers of holy men become recognized early on, and are able, with special training, to continue right from where they left off. One of these beings, reborn in the west, however, has to deal with a whole new set of obstacles – the pathologization of spirituality and mystical experiences in our culture – still pervasive literalist Christian dogma and superstition – and the quest to discover teachings which are foreign and opposed to our culture, and not very easy to come across.

However, a truly motivated spirit will always have the integrity to return to their original nature, regardless of the depravity of the society in which they find themselves, and The Great Spirit will orchestrate things so that all the right lessons, teachers, and experiences, fall into their path. Everything is well-taken care of. We just have to do our best, and not submit to ignorance and defeat.

Diary of a Mystic: The Valley Spirit

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Following on from the previous meditation, I used Green Tara’s mantra, and focused on the divine feminine. I found it very healing and stabilizing, and an excellent antidote to the restlessness and irritability I have experienced whilst being ill.

I spent a lot of the meditation flying through space. I at once encountered an enormous totem pole, which, no matter how perseveringly I followed it, seemed to have no end. The faces on the totem were variously gnashing their teeth and sticking out their tongues. One may have tried to eat me momentarily, meaningless as that is.

Occasionally, whilst flying through the pneumas of space, a face would form in the shape of a Buddha, usually very large and expansive. I roamed through lots of peaceful cloud-woven realms. One of the mist-formed being had a bit more of wrathful appearance than the others, though here was certainly nothing to be feared. These are lands of tranquillity, full of peace and beauty. There is never any danger here.

Many of the beautiful landscapes through which I travelled were filled with gorgeous mountains and valleys. Some were lush with greenery, vegetation, plants, grass, moss and lichen; whilst others were more grand canyon like, featuring many chasms, low-rolling rivers, mesas and buttes – some were dense with jagged mountain peaks, sharply chewing up the sky, more like the Himalayas or certain parts of China. Some of these felt like Earthy landscapes, whilst many definitely were not. In general, I did not see many beings, human, otherworldly, or animal on this trip – just mists and vapors.

Astral Travel: Transformation and The Divine Feminine

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Waking up still feeling feverish, I decided I would spend several hours chanting Medicine Buddha’s mantra to stimulate my healing powers within. At the beginning of the meditation I just decided to passively chant the mantra, allowing visions to naturally arise as they pleased. Many of them were of Shiva and Shakti; of wandering across vast desert planes on foreign planets. Sitting in a mountain cave, covered by a waterfall, looking across an infinitely vast chasm, filled with clouds, space, and moisture. Once again, there was imagery relating to the Native Americans.

I focused on my Shakti, on my Divine Feminine, and tuned into the female body that exists within my male body, becoming aware of my breasts, my womb, my vagina, and the different sensation in terms of energetic vibrations. I focused Shiva-lingam energy onto the pearl of my clitoris, and felt waves of high-vibrating pleasure ascending up through my body. It’s no wonder women enjoy sex more than men – the pleasure is much more intense, yet also much more grounded and consistent. It does not peak quickly then wane, as with men, but endures evenly, capable of being prolonged inexhaustibly for those who know the techniques.

Being earthly, women are naturally more grounded than men. Their tranquillity and serenity is far deeper than could ever be fathomed. This is why men have subjugated women for so long – because they are afraid and jealous of their closer connection to the earth, and the inexhaustible supply of magic and energy that gives them access to – pure Shakti energy. Thus, women have been demeaned and separated from the Earth as much as possible. This is also why the current powers that be strive to artificialize women as much as possible, exploiting their insecurities, and brainwashing them into being obsessed with appearances, make-up, security, and a whole of host of frivolous poisons that detract and separate them from the all-powerful divine mother whom they embody. To all women who read this, may you be liberated from the shackles of such attachments, and return joyously to nature, as the divine sorceresses you are.

Once we get to the astral projection portion of my meditation, the use of words becomes far more unsatisfactory. For those who’ve never performed astral projection before, it creates a divided, yet unified sense of experience. Though you’re still conscious of your body sat immobile as you meditate, you will also feel the cosmic sensations of your etheric body as you project it through different dimensions. There is a mind-split involved here, which may feel uncomfortable at first. But, the more you become accustomed to maintaining trance, and the practice of using separate senses simultaneously – in this instance, internal chanting and visualization – then the more that split feels natural and unified. You even become aware, during your waking life, that such splits are occurring all the time, and that your various thought bodies are often off wandering in other places and dimensions, whilst your physical body is engrossed in its own activities.

The longer you maintain awareness and control over your etheric body, the more solid and crystallized your etheric body feels. As with anything, the experience becomes much more stable and expansive the more you practice it. In fact, making your etheric body dwell in a single spot, as though meditating, and imagining it crystallizing, as though into a golden statue, is one of the best ways of further reifying it.

I visited an amazing crystal castle in space, which had a very robust healing energy to it, especially if one stood in the central room, below the elevated spire. The crystal was all a sort of light-bluey quartz color. It made me think about King Ludwig II of Bavaria, and made me wonder whether it was memory of such places that impelled him to build his incredible, fairy-tale castles.

One of the most liberating and exciting thing about the etheric body, is that it can take on any form you direct it to. The initial form I usually take on is that of a Buddha, bodhisattva, or god with whom I have a strong relationship. The Buddha body is usually an ideal one, because it is very easy to drive, and one can use the energetic powers of his top-knot and third eye to illuminate all sorts of fascinating realms and worlds. But, all forms are capable of taking on any kind of amazing transformations at the drop of a thought.

One of the interesting experiences for me this time round is that, not only can we take on the forms of animals and beings, but also of vehicles, planets, buildings, boats, and houses – or just be formless and empty, like the vapours of space. It is very fun to experiment with these different bodies, the alchemical actions that occur as a result, as well as the knowledge one acquires through experimenting with different incarnations.

Most exciting of all is realizing that you can transform the etheric body to be many things at once, manifesting yourself as a whole plethora of beings and things. I even experienced creating a hole world, and manifesting individually – yet multifariously – as every being and thing on it. I imagined separating myself into an infinite multitude of bodhisattvas, who I could spread in all directions, to all possible worlds, to liberate as many living being as possible.

Of course, at this level, I realized that all beings are essentially ephemeral creations thought momentarily into existence by the universal mind, and that, as The Diamond Sutra says, there are really no beings to save. Though, of course, until all beings realize that, I still have a lot of work to do!

Learning to be formless and all-embracing is definitely a skill I would recommend all beings to master

How to See Gods Without Tearing Out Your Eyes

 

We live in a myopic culture in which righteous belief in anything is held to be a visual, evidentiary process. “Seeing is believing, people say; and whenever proof is demanded, it is expected to be shown in a visual form. But the greatest things in life, and those which possess the most power, are those forces which remain unseen by almost everyone, even though they parade before us, as naked and as clear as crystalline nudists. Yet we continue to assign a veridicality to visual processes, taking all that we witness with the eyes to be the ultimate, though, in reality, faith in this ascription leaves us as blind as worms in a narrow tunnel, thinking these subterranean worlds to be the entire gamut of existence, even though the sun, not even for a second, has ever graced, our true, most subtle of eyes.

But people do not believe in gods or higher beings for this same reason. Because they cannot see them, walking around as openly and as obviously as humans and animals do, people cast doubts on their veracity. “Surely, if they were as all powerful and as all knowing as people say they are, then making an appearance to everyone on earth would be of no great difficulty to them. Why, then, do they remain occult, and an unbelievable mystery to us?”

It is because of their all-knowing, all-powerful, limitless compassion that they do not show themselves to us. It must be understood that every man and woman writes the contract of their availability to enlightenment and divine knowledge on their own terms, according to the limits of their perception and ability to comprehend. A particle physicist wouldn’t take a duck for a wander around The Large Hadron Collider and expect it to understand – he would know that it was a useless venture, mostly unappreciated by the duck, who would much rather be swimming on a lake, being fed bread by tourists. The gods treat us with no less a conception of noblesse oblige. They know that if they were to show themselves to us in all their expansive glory, not only would we not appreciate it, but we would resent it, especially as the encounter may leave us mortally wounded, traumatized, irrevocably insane, and marginalized by the rest of society, who would not appreciate our feeble attempts to try and convey our experiences to them.

The gods only grant experiences of themselves to those who have prepared themselves for it. Just as an illiterate person would have no use for a complicated book that contains all the answers, or a legless man would be ill-suited as a competitor in a 20 KM marathon, so would a direct encounter with the divine be useless to one who has not spiritually prepared themselves for the experience. You can’t catch a fish by clapping your hands over a molehill and expecting one to jump out. Nor can you meet the gods by bowing and scraping in churches and temples. As a fisherman needs a fishing rod, patience, and a fertile pool in order to be successful, so does a spiritual aspirant need a clear, translucent mind in order to witness the gods pervading and permeating all aspects of the astral aquarium of his being.

If you can turn your attention inwards, and study it for long enough so that you can readily perceive how all things arise therein, within and without will break down and merge so that there is no longer any illusion of separability between them, and the gods will situate themselves on the doorstep of your being like gnomes in your front and back garden. But, after a while, even these will not be enough. Like the gaudy idols outside a temple, you will come to seek THE GREAT UNCOGNIZABLE FACE OF FACELESS AWESOME which they feebly hint at the presence of. Use gods as signposts that point towards the infinite. But once you achieve this, go beyond them, and continue to seek that which is greater. Then the ever-quenching nourishment of eternal bliss will be yours to drink, like a bottomless, sweet elixir, served to you by a dancing sun on an endless summer’s day, embracing all the innumerable directionless directions with its incomparable radiance and light.