Interesting meditation before bed last night. The visualizations and interior depth of my meditations are beginning to return thankfully and joyously. This bug has been stuck on my chest at the moment, so I had to direct a lot of energy towards my heart chakra to help it heal, and to also, hopefully, reawaken the compassion and warmth that was temporarily occluded by my selfish sickness.
I saw quite a lot of magical spirit animals in this meditation: a leopard – a bear – an ant – and a few others I cannot immediately recall. An ant is symbol of the power of co-operating with others. Though tiny, army ants, through working together, are a fearsome force in the jungle. When tiny things assemble together, they are capable of achieving greatness. The importance of working together with others. Even on a singular basis, ants are incredibly strong, capable of lifting things that far exceed their size. As a colony, they function through psychic integration and intuition. And they are also supremely selfless, seeing themselves as a collective whole, and not as an assemblage egos each with their own unique desires to gratify.
The bear is almost the opposite of this. A solitary cave dweller, he prefers isolation, entering into the depths of darkness to perceive the essence of The Way. He is quite territorial, but also shy. To the Native Americans, the bear was emblematic of Virgo. So, I must reconcile and harmonize these two seemingly conflicting sides of my nature – the solitary and the social. That which desires to withdraw and work alone and within – and that which desires to unite with others, and work for the greater good. Both of them are ultimately seeking to attain the same thing – just through different methods and modalities.
According to my book of symbols, the Leopard was associated with the great destroyer Seth in the Egyptian pantheon. Priests would wear leopard pelts to symbolize their ascendency over the forces of destruction. The leopard, due to its cunning, strength, and blood-lust was also a symbol of the warrior castes, but also one of transformation – its coat changes with the seasons, and the loss of its spots indicates purity – losing the spots of sin.
A website on spirit animals had this to say of the leopard:
He is reminding you that there is always a period of rebirth after a period of suffering and death on some level. Leopard is the healer of deep wounds and will bring old issues to resolution through the reclaiming of power that was lost during the time of the wounding. He is reminding you that you have many resources, skills, capabilities, inner resources and patterns available to you that will allow you to do a broad range of tasks at will. These resources can be physical, mental, psychic, emotional and spiritual.
Alternatively the Leopard is letting you know that you need to accept your own spots and use them as your own strengths. Stop hiding because of your own perceived weaknesses. You have the power and the strength to accomplish everything you dream of. You simply have to believe, have faith and find the right path. Persistence is the keyword.
I think this is all incredibly relevant. I have been going through many deaths recently, and I’m currently on the upswing, and in gradual recovery mode. I feel very wounded at the moment from mistakes and experiences I’ve had recently, so to be assured of a resurgence of new power and strength and resolution is pleasing to the soul. The past week really did knock a lot of my confidence and faith out of me, so it will be beautiful to be realigned with an awareness of my limitless potential, instead of constantly being bound and stymied by self-limiting insecurities and worries.
I do also need to be more accepting of my own weakness, and not over-highlight them at the exclusion of the whole, but rather integrate thoroughly with them. All weaknesses can be converted into strength if you know the secret of transmutation. I think, especially, I have been castigating myself for my extreme changeability, seeing this aspect of my protean nature in an entirely negative light, when actually, it is an important part of my character, and abundant in virtue. Changeability is neither good nor bad in and of itself, for such transformations are an essential part of how the universe evolves. It is just about how you direct it (or how it directs you).
I had a beautiful moment of consolation earlier too. I prayed for forgiveness from a lover for all the pain that I’ve put her through. A voice reminded me that she’s already forgiven me. All these lifetimes, and unpleasant blips are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Mercy and forgiveness are the basic modalities of the universe. She has never truly hated me, and will always love me. What forgiveness need there be?