Diary of a Mystic: Vajra Lands

cloudfarer

First thoroughly enjoyable and integrative meditation since I first came down with this illness. Given all the anger, bitterness, and ill-will I’ve been experiencing as a side effect over these last few days, I decided to use Vajrayogini’s mantra to help me eat up and transform these unpleasant emotions. And it certainly worked, as I feel much more gentle and mentally pliable now than the misanthrope I’ve been masquerading as for these last few days.

The energy that envelops everything was no longer kept at a distance from me that horrifying fever fire, but could actually fully enter into my being. It was truly blissful and pleasurable, as though my being was gently being suffused with yogurt, milk, ambrosia, or some other sweet elixir of the Gods.

The initial imagery was of some jungles, and a face that looked rather Mongolian. But, to my knowledge, I don’t think Mongolia is a jungle terrain, so it was more likely a Chinese kingdom I was seeing, or maybe even something from Central or South America.

Then the scene takes an almost anime turn, two beautiful lovers, in a watery, nebulous, rainbow space. It is quite indistinct, but I feel very turned on and sensual, a delicious sense of hyper-sexual unity that continues throughout the meditation.

There is one scene that almost feel like a living painting. We are sailing down this psychedelic, jungle river. All these beautiful and mysterious creatures lurk elegantly along the banks. Roaming through clouds and beautiful vajra lands.

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Wrathful Deity Channeled – The Shaman’s Power

vajravetali

Sat down to meditate. Prayed and invoked a lot of different deities. I used Tara’s mantra, and visualized myself as one of her wrathful aspects, holding a lotus flower containing a spinning dharma wheel, seated on a moon disk in a lotus flower, Amitabha on my crown, and surrounded by a coronal wreath of fire.

As the feeling stabilized, I focused on her feminine attributes, channelling powerful energy through my imaginal vagina, and expanding my breasts to feed all the living, visualizing myself in consort with an appropriate male partner, and then switching it around, so that I was also the male, with a Vajravetali like figure.  Indestructible corpse – what a beautiful name! Channelling the whirling energy between us up through our crowns and out of the head into a womb of power above.

The channelled chanting starts quite early, barely ten minutes into the meditation – possibly the quickest arising yet. It is a short, repetitive mantra, most likely Tibetan, and, at first, starts out in just a muttered whisper, before gradually building in volume as the energetic sensations arise with it. It is easily the most demonstrably wrathful spirit I have ever channeled – my body swings, writhes and contorts rhythmically and pendulously with intensity and purpose, stretching and adapting my body in all sorts of unusual ways. No doubt, a fool would consider such an experience to be demonic possession, instead of a powerful, yet volatile, healing and awakening. It latter switches to a secondary mantra, which also sounds Tibetan. In general, the performance my body gives reminds me a lot of the dancing engaged in by the Tibetan oracles, who also rely mostly on wrathful deities for oracles, particularly Yamantaka.

The visions are of many wrathful spirits, definitely Yamantaka, and other blue, flaming, horned beings, possibly Sipe Gyalmo (who I invoked) and other Bon deities. At one point, I can feel these horns growing out of my head, and see a multiplicity of Yamantakas dancing upon the hazardous peaks of the Himalayas, raging with joy and power.

It feels like a definite Kundalini experience. There is a huge onrush of energy flowing through my lower three chakras, particularly my root and sexual chakras. I have not felt such a surge of sexual and Shakti prana for quite a long time – I don’t think any of them have ever been quite as intense, yet purely channeled, as this. It rises up into my imaginary womb, hopefully helping to burn away the karmic traces of sadness and grief that have become trapped there.

It strikes me that one of the reason the Vajrayana and Dzogchen traditions of Tibet are so powerful is because, though Buddhist, they are still essentially shamanistic in nature. Most of the Shamanistic traditions in the world have been utterly slaughtered, forgotten, or destroyed. Yet, the Bon and Buddhist traditions of Tibet are still being amazingly preserved and practiced to this day; and, with every passing day, more and more of its powerful, ancient secrets are being revealed and shared with the world at large. It is the greatest, greatest of gifts.

The reason it is so powerful is because of this dynamic coupling of the carefully codified wisdom and compassion of the Buddha Dharma, mingled with the natural, mystical, ritualized wildness of the Shamanistic Bon religion, tamed and wielded to perfection by Padmasambhava. Shamanism is always so powerful because it taps directly, and spontaneously, into the most powerful and ancestral of energies, without any remote requirement for intellectualism or even understanding. The shaman can do a lot of what he does simply because he does not understand, or even need to, in order to do it. Such a state of affairs is a puzzle to the ignorant, Western mind, which feels like it needs to grasp, explain, and intellectually reduce everything, before it can finally accept it and make use of it; rejecting everything that is misunderstood, even if it clearly and demonstrably works.

Of course, the shaman’s Way is not for everyone. It require complete grounding, courage, and fearlessness – the willingness to become repeatedly insane on a regular basis. Fortunately, for me, I have longed for insanity ever since I was a child, and so am perfectly suited to the role – especially as it is one that I have taken on in many, many lives. I am so grateful to have this part of myself reawakened, and look forward to sharing it with the rest of the world, to the benefit of all.

OM AH HUM!

 

Diary of a Mystic: Buddha Lands

mandala

After reading a book on Tara’s Enlightened Qualities, I was inspired to refine my practice, making three prostrations, taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha, speeding up my recitation of the mantra to be as fast as possible, whilst invoking many Dakinis – speeding up the mantra definitely speeds up the results, though, I definitely feel like the presence of the full-moon helped to intensify the proceedings.

Catapulted into many amazing Buddha Lands. I see countless Taras, Dakinis, Buddhas, Dharmapalas, and numerous other sprites and spirits I would have no idea how to define or categorize – certainly a far share of demons, mystics, goblins, and sorcerers. Samantabhadra – Universal Sage Buddha – is a delivering a sermon to countless multitudes, in extremely beautiful lands.

A Dakini/Tara appears before me holding an old vellum scroll – it is a terma?  She tears it in two. Many Dragons, heavenly beings, Hell beings and others engaged in bizarre pass-times, feasting on entrails. I can hear foreign voices speaking words into both of my ears in stereo. I cannot recognize the language – perhaps Indian or Nepalese? There is a flash of light in the chambers of my skull, and several loud noises in the attic above my had which completely coincide with it – indication of an actual presence in the room. Groups of Buddhas levitating happily over mountains. It is all ineffable and multi-dimensional, like being inside a quantum mandala – or a Tibetan version of one of Pablo Amaringo’s Ayahuasca paintings.

Yamantaka reappears quite a few times, consumed by a corona of blazing fire, belching fire, and making wrathful sounds. I see him so often that I find it hard not to occasionally switch to his mantra! Bald, Nosferatu-like figures.

“JUST LISTEN!” Tara exclaims to me at one point. I behold her more vividly and immensely than I’ve ever seen her before. Energy flows forth to cleanse my heart chakra – the familiar feeling of a spiritual hand reaching through my sternum to clutch at my hurting heart.

Diary of a Mystic: The Pregnancy of Isis

lisa-iris-egyptian

Green Tara Mantra. Divine Feminine invoked. I see an Egyptian goddess naked in the desert, her only adornment an elaborate headdress. Her beauty is striking, the sky is blue, and the desert sands are whirling opaquely around her. Her breasts are swollen with promise – her manner is graceful and serene. Her belly swells gravidly as she become pregnant. I focus on making my own body female, and visualize enfolding a womb of pure energy and potential within.

A man in a snow-covered land is sodomizing a dog, very much like a scene from an Eskimo Tale. The dog runs off, and I experience being the dog, dashing urgently through the snow, knowing that I have a message to convey.

Let’s analyze this like we do my dreams. Sand represents impermanence and constant change – beating around us, it signals the mysterious and vague. Isis pregnant with the newborn Horus – the thus come Osiris. Signals that life will be giving birth to new things, and that I, too, may be giving birth to a new version of myself – rightly so, after all my deaths! Swollen breasts – ripeness, fertility, comfort, nourishment, timeliness, the abundance of Spring. Also, the rebirth of ancient mysteries, and the divinity within us.

Man sodomizing a dog. Returning to one’s animal nature? Base instincts? Union of higher and lower? Conjoining one’s self with the qualities of a dog – loyal, devoted, playful, yet animalistic? Assuming the man came, then the dog has literally been filled with a message of sorts. Urgency, communication. Snow – purity, death, loneliness – racing through death to reach purity?

Diary of a Mystic: The Valley Spirit

velley spirit

Following on from the previous meditation, I used Green Tara’s mantra, and focused on the divine feminine. I found it very healing and stabilizing, and an excellent antidote to the restlessness and irritability I have experienced whilst being ill.

I spent a lot of the meditation flying through space. I at once encountered an enormous totem pole, which, no matter how perseveringly I followed it, seemed to have no end. The faces on the totem were variously gnashing their teeth and sticking out their tongues. One may have tried to eat me momentarily, meaningless as that is.

Occasionally, whilst flying through the pneumas of space, a face would form in the shape of a Buddha, usually very large and expansive. I roamed through lots of peaceful cloud-woven realms. One of the mist-formed being had a bit more of wrathful appearance than the others, though here was certainly nothing to be feared. These are lands of tranquillity, full of peace and beauty. There is never any danger here.

Many of the beautiful landscapes through which I travelled were filled with gorgeous mountains and valleys. Some were lush with greenery, vegetation, plants, grass, moss and lichen; whilst others were more grand canyon like, featuring many chasms, low-rolling rivers, mesas and buttes – some were dense with jagged mountain peaks, sharply chewing up the sky, more like the Himalayas or certain parts of China. Some of these felt like Earthy landscapes, whilst many definitely were not. In general, I did not see many beings, human, otherworldly, or animal on this trip – just mists and vapors.

Astral Travel: Transformation and The Divine Feminine

astral_travel_by_jacolloy-d4q0idp

Waking up still feeling feverish, I decided I would spend several hours chanting Medicine Buddha’s mantra to stimulate my healing powers within. At the beginning of the meditation I just decided to passively chant the mantra, allowing visions to naturally arise as they pleased. Many of them were of Shiva and Shakti; of wandering across vast desert planes on foreign planets. Sitting in a mountain cave, covered by a waterfall, looking across an infinitely vast chasm, filled with clouds, space, and moisture. Once again, there was imagery relating to the Native Americans.

I focused on my Shakti, on my Divine Feminine, and tuned into the female body that exists within my male body, becoming aware of my breasts, my womb, my vagina, and the different sensation in terms of energetic vibrations. I focused Shiva-lingam energy onto the pearl of my clitoris, and felt waves of high-vibrating pleasure ascending up through my body. It’s no wonder women enjoy sex more than men – the pleasure is much more intense, yet also much more grounded and consistent. It does not peak quickly then wane, as with men, but endures evenly, capable of being prolonged inexhaustibly for those who know the techniques.

Being earthly, women are naturally more grounded than men. Their tranquillity and serenity is far deeper than could ever be fathomed. This is why men have subjugated women for so long – because they are afraid and jealous of their closer connection to the earth, and the inexhaustible supply of magic and energy that gives them access to – pure Shakti energy. Thus, women have been demeaned and separated from the Earth as much as possible. This is also why the current powers that be strive to artificialize women as much as possible, exploiting their insecurities, and brainwashing them into being obsessed with appearances, make-up, security, and a whole of host of frivolous poisons that detract and separate them from the all-powerful divine mother whom they embody. To all women who read this, may you be liberated from the shackles of such attachments, and return joyously to nature, as the divine sorceresses you are.

Once we get to the astral projection portion of my meditation, the use of words becomes far more unsatisfactory. For those who’ve never performed astral projection before, it creates a divided, yet unified sense of experience. Though you’re still conscious of your body sat immobile as you meditate, you will also feel the cosmic sensations of your etheric body as you project it through different dimensions. There is a mind-split involved here, which may feel uncomfortable at first. But, the more you become accustomed to maintaining trance, and the practice of using separate senses simultaneously – in this instance, internal chanting and visualization – then the more that split feels natural and unified. You even become aware, during your waking life, that such splits are occurring all the time, and that your various thought bodies are often off wandering in other places and dimensions, whilst your physical body is engrossed in its own activities.

The longer you maintain awareness and control over your etheric body, the more solid and crystallized your etheric body feels. As with anything, the experience becomes much more stable and expansive the more you practice it. In fact, making your etheric body dwell in a single spot, as though meditating, and imagining it crystallizing, as though into a golden statue, is one of the best ways of further reifying it.

I visited an amazing crystal castle in space, which had a very robust healing energy to it, especially if one stood in the central room, below the elevated spire. The crystal was all a sort of light-bluey quartz color. It made me think about King Ludwig II of Bavaria, and made me wonder whether it was memory of such places that impelled him to build his incredible, fairy-tale castles.

One of the most liberating and exciting thing about the etheric body, is that it can take on any form you direct it to. The initial form I usually take on is that of a Buddha, bodhisattva, or god with whom I have a strong relationship. The Buddha body is usually an ideal one, because it is very easy to drive, and one can use the energetic powers of his top-knot and third eye to illuminate all sorts of fascinating realms and worlds. But, all forms are capable of taking on any kind of amazing transformations at the drop of a thought.

One of the interesting experiences for me this time round is that, not only can we take on the forms of animals and beings, but also of vehicles, planets, buildings, boats, and houses – or just be formless and empty, like the vapours of space. It is very fun to experiment with these different bodies, the alchemical actions that occur as a result, as well as the knowledge one acquires through experimenting with different incarnations.

Most exciting of all is realizing that you can transform the etheric body to be many things at once, manifesting yourself as a whole plethora of beings and things. I even experienced creating a hole world, and manifesting individually – yet multifariously – as every being and thing on it. I imagined separating myself into an infinite multitude of bodhisattvas, who I could spread in all directions, to all possible worlds, to liberate as many living being as possible.

Of course, at this level, I realized that all beings are essentially ephemeral creations thought momentarily into existence by the universal mind, and that, as The Diamond Sutra says, there are really no beings to save. Though, of course, until all beings realize that, I still have a lot of work to do!

Learning to be formless and all-embracing is definitely a skill I would recommend all beings to master